


5 times people think they are related and one time they don’t

by SallyPejr



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: 5+1 Fic, People are idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-23
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-19 06:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3599700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SallyPejr/pseuds/SallyPejr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times people think they are related and one time they didn’t...</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 times people think they are related and one time they don’t

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Čeština available: [5 times people think they are related and one time they don’t](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8737501) by [AveJa (SallyPejr)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SallyPejr/pseuds/AveJa)



> winifredweatherbee and voodooling were talking about this at tumblr...

1.

Eggsy has new neighbour. Or better his mum has. Her name is Mrs. Turner and half of time she is out of her flat collecting gossips. So it isn’t so big surprise that one day she wants talk with Eggsy. Not that he has chance with her iron grip. And Mrs. Turner starts talking about his wonderful relationship with his divorced father and how good looking gentleman he is and how much she wants meet him and- At this point Eggsy has to stop her, because he has no idea about who she is talking. When he finds out he’s ‘divorced father’ is supposed to be Harry he starts laughing like never. Eggsy can’t wait when he meet him again (or Merlin or Roxy) because this is really great joke.

2.

Harry swear they will go to whatever restaurant Eggsy chooses, so his protege decides he will show him how eat plebes. Eggsy chooses McDonalds. It’s hard say how much shock this choice is for Harry because his face is still impassive like usually. Eggsy orders them Big Macs and tries doesn’t laugh at strange looks from people around them. Harry and his perfect suit - how many times you can see that in McDonalds? He really looks inappropriately here. And then girl behind the counter gives Eggsy their meal and winks at him that it’s for him and his dad. And Eggsy just bursts out laughing.

3.

It’s normal honeypot mission. Harry and Eggsy are supposed to be lovers because their target, some Mr. Franklin, likes fucking with young and engaged. And he’s trying to dominate the world. Eggsy is almost sitting in Harry’s lap with Harry’s hands under shirt while they watch target. They just change another kiss what attack comes. But not from target. From really angry old woman which screams at them something about sodomites and relationship between father and son. It is really hard calm angry woman while Merlin is laughing like mad in your earpiece.

4.

Old Mr. Blackwood really likes shopping in Kingsman. He loves their suits and precise work. Sometimes he takes his guests or friends or family and goes there because it’s really important know good tailor. Everytime he and his accompaniment meet Harry and Eggsy, Mr. Blackwood introduce them like Mr. Kingsman and his son. They give up correcting him long time ago.

5.

Cinema was Roxy’s idea not Eggsy’s or Harry’s. They just agreed with it. And they let her choose film for them. They should know it’s mistake. All this idea not just film. They should find better way how relax. Man behind the counter looks strange at them and tries warn them it’s not family film. Everybody look at them like if they aren’t normal. Everybody means there are only couples. And Harry is probably the oldest person in the audience. Even Eggsy doesn’t laugh when somebody calls them dad and son. Instead of this he kisses Harry. On lips. And hard. And then they go at dinner because this film - it’s really stupid idea.

+1

Merlin has too much work. He is genius but it doesn’t mean he should do everything. For example now he has stack of paperwork for new Arthur aka Harry and some impatient, annoying and important people at video chat because said Arthur doesn’t respond when he calls him so it’s Merlin’s work calm people and do paperwork. When Arthur ignores him for the five times he gives up. If Harry doesn’t want talk with him through phones he will talk with him like normal people. Merlin doesn’t knock no matter that gentlemen always knock and opens door. And closes door. It looks like Harry has very important meeting with Eggsy. Important and private meeting. Probably with physical examination. It’s better do not disturb. Well, they have half our because then Merlin will disturb them. He can’t do Arthur’s job just because he… has meeting.


End file.
